Because I derive such great joy from the bastardization of both the Indian language and cuisine–I present another in my series of madeup Indian dishes: Aloo Dal Makhani. It’s an attempt at a “standard” Dal (lentil) Makhani, but with Aloo (potatoes). It’s very rich and a little sweet.

I’m not sure what possessed me to base this on Vegan Dad’s Tofu Makhani recipe instead of something more authentic. Well, nix that. I am sure. I saw the picture on his site and almost gave myself a concussion from salivating too hard. I didn’t use tofu, because I don’t really like tofu in curries, and I wanted something a little more traditional. Like Vegan Dad, Indian food was my first love as a vegan, the first food that shocked me out of my usual Western palette.

This recipe did mark the first time I’ve used soy yogurt and cashew cream (my version, not Vegan Dad’s) in an Indian dish–and let me tell you, ’twas a revelation. This dish also doesn’t have any cumin! This is perhaps one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. I’d probably put cumin in beer. Or an open wound.

Aloo Dal Makhani

• 1 cup red lentils
• 1/2 cup black lentils
• 4 small-medium potatoes, peeled and cubed
• 2 medium-sized onions, diced
• 2 medium-sized tomatoes, diced finely
• 1 clove of garlic, minced or pressed
• 2/3 cup (or 1 single-serving) soy yogurt
• 1/3 cup Earth Balance ™
• 1/2 cup ground almonds*
• 2 tsp chili powder
• 1/2 tsp turmeric
• 1/4 tsp ground cloves
• 2 tsp garam masala
• 1 tsp ground cardamom
• 1.5 tsp ground ginger
• 1/2 tsp cinnamon
• 2 bay leaves
• 1/4 cup chopped cilantro
• 1/2 cup cashew cream (you can substitute soy creamer or coconut milk, but it’s not as intensely awesome)
• 4 .5 cups of water
• salt, to taste

* we get almond meal at our local coop–it’s cheaper than buying whole almonds and less work

Melt the Earth Balance ™ in a large pot over medium heat. Toss in the onions and cook until they start to get soft. Add in the garlic, salt, all of the spices, the almonds, the yogurt, and finally 1/2 cup water. Stir it up! Mix in the tomatoes. Then add the lentils and potatoes, stirring well. Add in the remaining water, and bring to a boil. Once it’s boiling, cover it and cook over low-medium heat for about 30 minutes.

Once the potatoes and lentils are soft, add in half of the cilantro and the cashew cream. Simmer uncovered on low for another 10 – 15 minutes. Add in the remaining cilantro and serve over rice or couscous (we used couscous, cooked in veggie stock).

For some extra green action, we had this with savory green beans–which, strangely, complemented this perfectly.

Savory Green Beans

• green beans
• onion powder
• garlic powder
• Spike ™
• almond slivers
• rosemary olive oil (or regular, and a dash of ground rosemary)

Steam the green beans until they’re done the way you like them. Who am I to tell you how you like your beans? Toss in rosemary olive oil and add in the spices and almond slivers.

The first step to failure is making up the name for something that already has a name, probably. If I weren’t too lazy, I’d know what the name for an Indian curry made from chick peas and zucchini is called. But instead, I just used the words for each: chana and toree. Hey, it works for Aloo Gobi, right?

Actually, this wasn’t a failure, per se, but it wasn’t as savory as lots of other curries I’ve made. The zucchini made it kind of “watery” tasting. It did, however, make it a very attractive dish. So if you’re in the mood for a really mellow curry, this could be just the guy for you. But I wasn’t, so it wasn’t. Thus, it was not a success.

Allow me to impart a nugget of wisdom wrested from the gaping maw of failure: It’s okay to give some of your zucchini away. Now, I’m not admitting defeat; I’m not saying that a sufficiently crafty person couldn’t make an average of 2.75 zucchini-based meals per week. But from a utilitarian perspective, you would maximize overall happiness by giving some of your zucchini away and focusing on making meals with zucchini that you really like, not just adding zucchini to every recipe you know, willy-nilly.

And anyway, it’s not like we’re talking about kale here. Adding zucchini to everything doesn’t really confer any great health advantage.

But.

The pretty picture above has piqued your interest nonetheless. So here you go:

Chana Toree

• 1 large zucchini or 1/2 of a REALLY large zucchini, diced*
• 2 cups cooked chick peas, rinsed and drained
• 2 large tomatoes, diced finely
• 1 large onion, diced
• 2 large cloves of garlic, minced
• 1.5 tbsp curry powder
• 2 tsp ground cumin
• 1 tsp coriander
• 1 tsp chili powder
• 1 cup veggie stock
• salt, to taste

In a large-ish pot over medium heat, sautee the onions and garlic in oil until they are soft and starting to brown. Toss in the zucchini, mixing well. Add in all of the spices, taking care to coat everything. Cook for about 5 minutes, then add in the tomatoes, chick peas, and veggie stock. Bring to a boil, reduce heat, and let simmer for about 2 hours. Serve over rice, couscous, or quinoa.

* Cut the zucchini into about 2″ lengths. Cut those in half lengthwise, then cut the halves in half, then again. In other, simpler, words, cut the slices into eighths lengthwise. Now cut those slices widthwise into about 1/8 – 1/4″ little triangles. While this does nothing for the actual taste of the dish, it does look attractive, which in turn may trick folks into thinking it’s more delicious than it actually is. Presentation is often a subterfuge.

We made this with homemade naan, which was awesome.

Here is how it looks in a blue pot, which also lends to the transference of attractiveness to deliciousness:

Complementary colors are also a culinary subterfuge

I’m very sorry sir to let the raccoon out of the satchel, but this recipe is, with all due respect, “fusion”.

Read: I have bastardized, in my quaint American way, another delicious Indian entree.

But the title. Isn’t it hilarious? You know, dal, delicious, dal-icious. No. Truly not funny.

I have posted it here to dodge that bullet for you, lest you make a fool of yourself in front of company. I’m a true modern day hero.

Dal Markni

• 1 cup green lentils
• 1 cup black lentils (2 cups green lentils is okay)
• 4 cups water
• 2 medium tomatoes, diced
• 2 hot peppers, seeded and minced (jalapeno, serrano, fresno)
• 1 medium onion, diced
• tsp ground cumin (fresh ground, preferably)
• 4 sprigs  (minced) or 1.5 tsp oregano
• small handful chives or green onions
• 1 squeeze of lemon
• salt and pepper to taste

In a large-ish pot, sautee the garlic in cooking oil. When the garlic starts to brown, add in the onions and peppers. Cook until tender. Stir in the lentils and cook for about 5 minutes, stirring occasionally.

Stir in the tomatoes.

Add the water and some salt. Bring to a boil, reduce heat, cover, and simmer, in that order. Any other order just wouldn’t make sense. Unless you’re making BIZARRO DAL.

Once the lentils are tender, add in the oregano and chives and squeeze of lemon. At this point you’ll want to sample the dal to confirm that you have, in fact, added far too little salt. It’s time to face reality. Add salt until daliciosity occurs. Eat eat eat!