Amy left last week for a return trip to Budapest to finish a video collaboration, make new work, and prepare for an opening there (if you’re in or around Budapest, be sure to check it out). She’s kicking so much ass it’s hard not to feel ineffectual!

Since she was flying at night, we had time for a nice dinner. Here main requests were “protein power and potatoes”. After rummaging around the intertubes for a while, we decided to kick it eclectic-style and settled on:

• mashed potatoes
• sauteed mushrooms
• Vegan Dad’s Crispy Cajun Chickpea Cakes
• steamed broccoli
• carrot, beet, and lettuce salad, tossed in a light vinaigrette

Chickpea Cake Mixins

Bright, crispy, and delicious

Take heart fellow vegans, small victories are still possible! This year, for the first time ever, we did away with the traditional mixed Spanksgiving (omni/vegan) “Separate but Equal” dinner in favor of something more communal. You know the meal–an entire vegan feast alongside an entire non-vegan feast, a multitude of dishes that are identical, save soymilk, Earth Balance, and veggie stock in lieu of milk, butter, and turkey stock.

The weekend got off to a great start when we were greeted at the door with vegan oatmeal cookies, which Amy’s omni brother deemed “perfect”. How awesome is Amy’s mom? How awesome is it that Amy’s brother, in a single phrase, eliminated any further necessity to make non-vegan oatmeal cookies?

The vegan bonanza continued through to Spanksgiving too; Amy’s mom typically makes two dressings (you know, stuffing, but not in the turkey)–one with veggie stock and one with turkey/chicken stock. This year, she decided it was too much trouble and that no one would miss the meat stock, which they didn’t. She also traditionally makes both vegan and non-vegan mashed sweet potatoes with candied pecan topping. Though she did decide to make a non-vegan version as well at the last minute, Amy’s brother–our omni-acceptability-barometer–decreed the vegan version just as good, freeing Amy’s mom from any future obligation to make two versions.

Add to this homemade bread and steamed broccoli and cauliflower (there was a cheese sauce for the omnivores), and you have quite a shared meal! The omnivores had turkey and turkey gravy, while Amy and I had Spanksgiving Seitan Faux-Turkey and seitan gravy–though Amy’s dad had some of ours as well.

While it may not always be possible to convince your friends and family of your values, it is possible to achieve acceptance, to build respect, and to erode some of the barriers that keep us from meeting halfway and enjoying a meal together–which, history notwithstanding, is what Spanksgiving is all about.

Spanksgiving Menu:

• Spanksgiving Seitan Faux-Turkey
• Dressing
• Mashed Potatoes
• Steamed Broccoli & Cauliflower
• Mashed Sweet Potatoes w/ Candied Pecan Topping
• Homemade Rolls
• Seitan Gravy
• (Cranberry Sauce – Amy’s fambly ate this)
• (Turkey – Amy’s fambly ate this)

I first made a version of this with my excellent pals Nick and Uncle Nathan for Friend Thanksgiving years and years ago. I don’t know where Uncle Nathan found the recipe, but over the years it’s become Amy’s and my staple Spanksgiving centerpiece. What’s great about this (aside from being delicious) is that it doesn’t attempt to mock a turkey; this means that (a) if you’re giving spanks with omnivores, they might enjoy this too (Amy’s dad ate some at Spanksgiving and had some instead of turkey the next day for leftovers), and (b) you can start a new tradition that doesn’t ape one you don’t support.

Spanksgiving Faux-Turkey

• 2/3 batch (2 packages if store-bought) of seitan
• 1/2 box of Fillo dough
• buttery spread (I like Earth Balance Whipped Buttery Spread)
• ~6 – 8 pieces of bread
• 1 large (but not huge) white onion, diced
• 1 handful fresh sage, diced (or ~3 tbsp dried sage / 1 tbsp if dried and ground)
• salt
• pepper
• 1 cup veggie stock (I like to use the seitan broth)

Preheat oven to 375 degrees.

This is all about the stuffing, really.  Either by hand or in a food processor, shred the bread into small pieces and crumblins and dump into a large mixing bowl.  Dice the onion and sage and add to the bread.  Mix the dry ingredients together briefly by hand.  Add the veggie stock incrementally in small pours until the mixture is just moist (you may not use all of the veggie stock–this depends largely on how dense your bread is).  Add salt and pepper to taste.

Line a cookie sheet with aluminum foil.  Tear the seitan into smaller pieces (it will probably come in pieces) and form a mound of seitan 8 – 10 inches around in the center of the cookie sheet.

Pack the stuffing over the mound of seitan, preserving the roundness and shape of the mound.

One by one (or two by two like a damned ark if your fillo dough sheets won’t cover the whole mound) place the fillo dough sheets on the mound and brush with melted buttery spread.

That’s right.  EACH layer gets brushed with butter.  This ensures that your crust will be flakier than Lindsay Lohan.

Keep applying dough until you can’t see through it anymore and it’s a solid brown-white in color (you may later find that you like thinner or thicker crust).

Bake until crust is golden brown.

Though it’s really good by itself, I recommend a little gravy to go with it.

Wait. Fake chickens have fake fingers?

Amy was skeptical at first, but after she tried one, she had to admit they were pretty awesome. It was her genius idea, though, to gussy up what could have been a fairly plain meal with roasted cauliflower and smashed potatoes with a fancy roasted-garlic, wine, and carmelized-onion reduction.

We made the Chik’n Fingers from the seitan we made the other night from Jennifer’s version of Joanna’s recipe, cut into thin strips (about an inch wide), battered in Chik’n Almond Bake, and baked 15 minutes to a side at 425 degrees. Super simple and kind of a nice change of pace.

These would also work nicely on that amazing looking club sammich over at Lisa’s Thoughts, for those of you looking to avoid processed faux meats (just cook them at 10 minutes to a side instead).

We nabbed the roasted cauliflower recipe from our ol’ stalwart companion, VegWeb.

The smashed potatoes were the usual deal (well, almost…we used unpeeled purple potatoes). The reduction is as follows:

Fancy Garlic-Onion-Wine Reduction

• 1/2 large purple onion, diced
• 1 HEAD of garlic, roasted
• ~ 1/2 cup white wine (or sub red, for a something a bit heavier/richer)
  
• 3 tbsp (aka 1/4 cup) Earth Balance

In a carmelizing-able pan (nonstick pans usually won’t carmelize), begin carmelizing the onion in the Earth Balance over medium heat. After about 5 minutes, once the onions havae begun to soften, add in half the wine. When the onions have carmelized, remove the cloves of roasted garlic with a butter knife and add to the onions. With the mashing implement of your choice, mash the onions and garlic together thoroughly. Add in the remaining wine (or more, for desired consistency) and cook for another few minutes.

Serve as just a light drizzle; this is not a gravy! (some things, you have to learn the hard way…)

Hi ya’ll.  Amy here filling in for Mark with my first post on IV.  He spent the entire evening helping me stretch the canvas for a ten-foot painting, so he deserves a break.  It’s salad time…just in time for your fall crop of lettuce.  Sadly ours got eaten by hoggish vermin.  We’ll take better precautions next year.

Mark and I each take different approaches to preparing a salad.  I tend to put ANYTHING in the fridge on some lettuce and voila!  Mark has a more regimented approach.  We can agree that any good salad has some sort of protein such as nuts, seeds, or beans.  We both also really enjoy a good homemade dressing.  So here we have, for your consideration, two salads- the first is a collaborative effort and the second is one of my weird (but delicious!) creations.

Salad 1: We had this one the other night.  Let’s call it Chloe’s Fall Salad.  I’m giving cred to our friend Chloe for the dressing recipe.

So of course you can put anything you like on this salad.  The apples are what make it a “Fall” salad.  Copycat these moves if you want to replicate the tastiness in the photo.

Salad:

• mixed red leaf  and green leaf lettuce washed and torn into shreds
• shredded carrots (we use a cheese grater for this)
• toasted pine nuts (pop raw pine nuts into a pan on medium heat, stirring constantly until aromatic)
• thinly cut apple slices
• pepper to taste

Chloe’s Dressing:

• 2 tbsp tahini
• 1 tsp pomegranate molasses (you can get this at Whole Foods or Middle Eastern grocers)
• 2 tbsp balsamic vinegar
• 1/4 cup olive oil
• fresh chives, finely chopped
• water to desired viscosity

Mix all ingredients in a blender.  Measurements are approximate.  I just kind-of keep dumping ingredients in until it tastes right, so feel free to doctor to suit your preferences.  Stores for weeks in the fridge (if it lasts that long!)

Salad 2: Amy’s “Everything Goes” Salad (furreal people)

This particular salad contains:

• green leaf lettuce, washed and torn into shreds
• chopped red onion
• cooked corn from the cob (we save ours in the fridge so it’s cold when put on the salad)
• blueberries
• hemp seed
• pepper to taste

Dressing (my take on a Japanese sesame ginger dressing):

• 4 tbsp rice wine vinegar
• 6 tbsp vegetable or olive oil
• 2 tbsp sesame oil
• 2 tbsp soy sauce
• 2 tsp sake
• 4 tbsp freshly grated ginger (or from a jar)
• 3 tsp vegan sugar
• 10-12 baby carrots (or 2 medium-large carrots)
• 5 tsp tomato sauce
• 1/4 cup chopped onion

Combine all ingredients in a blender starting with liquids and gradually adding solid ingredients and blend until smooth-ish.  Add water if necessary to thin.  Again, measurements are approximate.  We like this dressing to be rather sweet, so feel free to cut the sugar down some.  You can also substitute agave nectar or another sweetener of your choice.  This one saves for weeks too.

Let us hear your favorite salad mix-em-ups and dressings.  The more unexpected, the better!

The thing everyone hates about lasagna is boiling the noodles and then trying to work with them. If you don’t hate this, feel free to move on to a different recipe, one that is more work and involves a panoply of pointless masochistic tasks.

Conversely, there are a variety of ways to make this recipe much harder to make–but with the added benefit of making it even more intensely awesome. It’s a culinary Choose Your Own Adventure ™. Any number of choices will result in your death. Only a few will lead to victory.

No-Boil Choose Your Own Lasagna

The Essentials

• 4 – 6 cups of pasta sauce (about a jar and a half or 8 tomatoes-worth)
• 12 large lasagna noodles
• faux-ricotta

Faux Ricotta

• 2 cups spinach OR lightly steamed kale
• 1 lb/package extra firm tofu
• 2 tbsp nu yeast
• 1.5 tsp oregano (2 large sprigs fresh)
• 1/2 tsp garlic powder OR 2 – 4 cloves fresh garlic, pressed
• 1 tsp basil (1 tbsp, fresh & diced)
• 1/2 tsp rosemary (chopped if fresh, crushed if dry)
• 1/8 tsp cayenne
• salt, to taste

Sauce (optional)

• ~ 8 medium – large tomatoes, diced
• 1 HEAD of garlic, minced
• 2 tbsp olive oil
• 1/4 cup fresh basil, chopped
• 1/8 cup fresh oregano, diced
• salt & pepper, to taste

Mushrooms (optional)

• 1/2 lb mushrooms, cut into thin slices
• 1/2 medium-sized white or yellow onion, diced
• olive oil

1 zucchini, sliced into thin disks (optional)

Filling

Blend the tofu and spinach/kale in a food processor, until well-mixed and somewhat smooth. Add in the remaining filling ingredients and blend until smooth, salting to taste. You can use this filling in any Italian-ish recipe that calls for ricotta.

Sauce (optional)

If’ you’re going the store-bought-sauce-in-a-jar route, this recipe is insanely simple. Skip to Lasagna

Note: You’ll want to do this step first, if you’re going the homemade sauce route–it needs to simmer.

Sautee the garlic in olive oil in a large pan (or pot) over medium heat. When it begins to brown, toss in the tomatoes and stir well. At your convenience and/or leisure, add in the oregano, basil, salt, and pepper. Let this simmer on medium heat, uncovered, for at least 30 minutes, until it’s more of a sauce than a liquid. Use your judgment. Modern physics offers no conceptual framework for understanding the phase transition from liquid to sauce.

Mushrooms (optional)

Sautee the onions and mushrooms in olive oil  in a medium-sized pan over medium heat until the mushrooms are tender. That’s it.

Lasagna

Preheat oven to 375. In a 9 x 12 pan, spread enough sauce to thoroughly cover the bottom of the pan. Add in a layer of 4 noodles (I usually end up with 3 full, and a fourth broken into large pieces to fill the remaining space). Spread a layer of half the filling on top of the noodles. If you’re using it, spread a layer of zucchini over the filling. Cover with another layer of noodles. Now spread the rest of the filling on top of them. Spread another layer if zucchini, if using. Spread the mushrooms in top of that, if using. Now put one more layer of noodles down. Cover thoroughly with sauce.

Cover the pan with foil and bake for 30 minutes. Remove the foil and bake for another 30 minutes. Let it cool for about 15 minutes before cutting and/or serving. Use your will power. I know you can do it. Top with more sauce and vegan parmesan, if handy.

Serves: Bill Murray as Garfield.

The first step to failure is making up the name for something that already has a name, probably. If I weren’t too lazy, I’d know what the name for an Indian curry made from chick peas and zucchini is called. But instead, I just used the words for each: chana and toree. Hey, it works for Aloo Gobi, right?

Actually, this wasn’t a failure, per se, but it wasn’t as savory as lots of other curries I’ve made. The zucchini made it kind of “watery” tasting. It did, however, make it a very attractive dish. So if you’re in the mood for a really mellow curry, this could be just the guy for you. But I wasn’t, so it wasn’t. Thus, it was not a success.

Allow me to impart a nugget of wisdom wrested from the gaping maw of failure: It’s okay to give some of your zucchini away. Now, I’m not admitting defeat; I’m not saying that a sufficiently crafty person couldn’t make an average of 2.75 zucchini-based meals per week. But from a utilitarian perspective, you would maximize overall happiness by giving some of your zucchini away and focusing on making meals with zucchini that you really like, not just adding zucchini to every recipe you know, willy-nilly.

And anyway, it’s not like we’re talking about kale here. Adding zucchini to everything doesn’t really confer any great health advantage.

But.

The pretty picture above has piqued your interest nonetheless. So here you go:

Chana Toree

• 1 large zucchini or 1/2 of a REALLY large zucchini, diced*
• 2 cups cooked chick peas, rinsed and drained
• 2 large tomatoes, diced finely
• 1 large onion, diced
• 2 large cloves of garlic, minced
• 1.5 tbsp curry powder
• 2 tsp ground cumin
• 1 tsp coriander
• 1 tsp chili powder
• 1 cup veggie stock
• salt, to taste

In a large-ish pot over medium heat, sautee the onions and garlic in oil until they are soft and starting to brown. Toss in the zucchini, mixing well. Add in all of the spices, taking care to coat everything. Cook for about 5 minutes, then add in the tomatoes, chick peas, and veggie stock. Bring to a boil, reduce heat, and let simmer for about 2 hours. Serve over rice, couscous, or quinoa.

* Cut the zucchini into about 2″ lengths. Cut those in half lengthwise, then cut the halves in half, then again. In other, simpler, words, cut the slices into eighths lengthwise. Now cut those slices widthwise into about 1/8 – 1/4″ little triangles. While this does nothing for the actual taste of the dish, it does look attractive, which in turn may trick folks into thinking it’s more delicious than it actually is. Presentation is often a subterfuge.

We made this with homemade naan, which was awesome.

Here is how it looks in a blue pot, which also lends to the transference of attractiveness to deliciousness:

Complementary colors are also a culinary subterfuge

Who’s a great little mousewife? It’s me, that’s who.

Amy was gone all weekend, so as the household garbage disposal, I ate leftovers all weekend. On Sunday I got a wild hare to cook it up, so contrary to usual form, I actually followed (mostly) other peoples’ recipes.

For dinner, it was Raw Vegan Caprese Salad and homemade sauce from the garden on spinach noodles.

The caprese salad uses a raw cashew cheese as its mozzarella–and it’s amazing. I think recently we hit our maximum-of-fake-cheese point, so this was a welcome break. It’s really more of a “spread” than a “cheese”. No need to front when you’re a cashew. You just have to taste awesome. The tomatoes and basil were all from our garden.

The homemade sauce was:

• olive oil
• an onion
• 4 mammoth cloves of garlic
• 1 serrano pepper
• a yellow squash
• half a giant zucchini
• about 5 medium – large-ish tomatoes
• fresh basil and oregano

I just diced everything finely, and sauteed in the order listed, then let it simmer for an hour or two. Very simple.

And for dessert, Key Lime Teasecake.

I liked this a lot more than Amy did, but she’s a plain ol’ cheesecake kinda gal and never hung with key lime pie…that being said, this thing was pretty awesome, especially considering it doesn’t use Tofutti/cream cheese. It uses millet, cashews, a little maple syrup, and limes. The crust is just flour, water, shortening, and graham cracker sprinklins. It’s practically healthy. You have an obligation to your body to eat this pie. Immediately.

This recipe used to involve eggplant.

Eggplant does not GROW LIKE CRAZY.

Zucchini and summer squash GROW LIKE CRAZY.

__________________________________

This recipe involves zucchini and summer squash.

And tomatoes (it always involved tomatoes, which GROW LIKE CRAZY).

And potatoes (not the marble-sized guys from our garden…but they needed to get used up…you don’t want to make Ralph Nader cry do you?)

Squashed & Mashed Bake ‘Em Up

• 6 medium russet potatoes, peeled and cut into large pieces
• 3 medium tomatoes
• 1 large zucchini
• 1 large summer squash
• olive oil
• 3 tbsp buttery substance
• 1/8 – 1/4 cup milky substance
• 1/2 cup bread crumbs
• 1/4 cup nu yeast
• 2 tsp herbs d’provence
• 1 tsp oregano
• 1 tsp garlic
• half a palmful of rosemary
• salt and pepper to taste

This recipe is pretty simple. You start of by making smashed potatoes:

In a large-ish pot, boil the potatoes until they’re soft. In a large-ish bowl, add the milk and butter, garlic, rosemary, and some salt and pepper. Mash it! Mash it up. You want these pretty thick and fluffy, so don’t overdo it on the milk. I’m serious.

At some point in this process, you should preheat the oven to 400 degrees.

Now. Cut the ends of the zucchini and squash. Cut the zucchini into 4 pieces, width-wise. Cut each of these length-wise, so you have wide, thin pieces. Cut the neck off the squash and do the same thing. Cut the big part in half. With a spoon or small skull, dig the seedy guts, if there are any, out of the squash. Now cut each half into thin slices, length-wise. Excellent. You’re almost done.

Spread a bit of olive oil on the bottom of a 14 x 9 baking pan. Spread a layer of squash–enough to cover the bottom of the pan, but not too thick. Drizzle a bit more olive oil on top of the squash, then sprinkle salt, pepper, and half of the herbs d’provence on top. Now spread a layer of zucchini. Drizzle more olive oil and sprinkle on the nu yeast. Fantastic! You’re doing great. One more layer of squash and/or zucchini, whatever is left (this will depend on the size of each). Top with salt, pepper, and remaining herbs d’provence.

Now. Spread the smashed potatoes on top of the squashes.

Cut the tomatoes into thin slices. Remove the tomato-boogers as you go. Spread these (tomatoes, not boogers–unless you normally eat the boogers and throw away the tomatoes) in a layer on top of the potatoes. Sprinkle oregano on top of this. You’re so close, I can taste it. Sprinkle on some bread crumbs, drizzle on some more olive oil, cover with aluminum foil, and pop this beyotch in the oven. After 10 minutes, remove the foil. Bake for an additional 20 minutes. Poke the zucchini with a fork–if it feels tender, you’re all done. If it’s still a bit tough, your oven is a wuss and you need to keep baking for an additional 5 to 10 minutes.

Outstanding!

As you have recently learned (you have been following along, right?) from making black bean burgers: The secret to vegan grilling is pre-baking or pre-steaming.

Whilst unearthing this fantastic culinary nugget, it occurred to me, strangely, for the first time: hey, I could make a grrrrrillable chick patty. Why this never occurred to me before, I can’t tell you. It’s too sad.

But occur it did. Like a Mack truck.

When I first grilled one of these and saw the perfect charred-in lines, I might have actually giggled. But deeply. Like Barry White thinking of something funny he saw on TV.  Behold:

Grillable Chick Patties

• 2 cups (1 can) cooked chick peas
• 1/4 grated/microplaned/finely diced carrots
• 2 sprigs fresh / 1 tsp dried oregano
• 1 tsp salt
• 1/4 cup ground oats
• 1 tbsp ground flax seed, mixed with 1/4 cup water
• 1/2 tsp ground cumin
• 1 dash cayenne pepper
• ground black pepper, to taste
• 1 batch chik’n almond bake

Preheat oven to 375. Place a pan of water on a low rack. This will keep things moist.

Prepare the flax seed and water–this needs to sit for about 10 minutes, until it becomes sort of gelatinous. This is the equivalent of 1 egg and can be used as a binder in lots of other recipes.

Rinse and drain the chick peas thoroughly. It’s important that you think of them as “chick peas” and not “garbanzo beans,” as that would ruin the play on “chick.” In general, “garbanzo” people are not to be trusted.

Add in the carrots. Mash. Mash it up.

Add in the ground oats and spices and mix/mash thoroughly.

Oil a baking sheet. Form the mix into patties–this will make 3 decent-sized burgers or 4 smallish guys. I recommend going with 3. Actually, I recommend making a double, triple, or quadruple batch–since it doesn’t really take much more work and these can be refrigerated or frozen. Pop the patties on the cookie sheet and bake 10 minutes to a side.

They can be grilled immediately or refrigerated or frozen.

Serve on a lightly toasted (right on the grill) bun with lettuce, tomato, onion and either Earth Balance ™ or Vegenaise ™.

We had this with smashed potatoes and mushroom gravy.