No, this is not a hilarious dance performed by the natives to this continent–it’s a tofu scramble made with local ingredients, namely wild rice and acorn squash. I like to imagine this as the Thanksgiving Breakfast, pilgrims and natives alike feasting cruelty-free on tofu and native crops. No one gave anyone smallpox and everyone lived happily ever after. The end. Manifest Destiny only required that the food was delicious.

We made this for a brunch this morning (well, this afternoon). This being the Year of the Brunch, it’s been a real challenge to make a sufficient variety of breakfast foods without (a) repeating ourselves and (b) overlapping with what others are making. Remember that brunch where you all made potatoes?

This was inspired by a scramble we had some time back at Seva, a local vegetarian restaurant. It’s a little labor intensive for your usual breakfast, so it’s more ideal for a brunch-type scenario. Accordingly, this recipe is for a double batch–so be sure to halve everything if you’re only feeding a few people and/or don’t want a ton of leftovers.

Indigenous Scramble

• 2 medium-sized white onions, diced
• 2 lbs of tofu, drained
• 1/2 medium – large acorn squash
• 1 cup (uncooked) wild rice
• 2 cups water
• 1/3 cup nutritional yeast
• 1 tsp turmeric
• 2 tsp herbs d’provence
• salt & pepper, to taste
• high heat cooking oil

Preheat your over to 425 degrees Fahrenheit. Cut the acorn squash in half and place on baking sheet in a small drizzle of high heat cooking oil (like Safflower). Bake for 30 – 40 minutes, until you can remove the skin, but the squash is still solid enough to cut into pieces. Don’t worry too much about overcooking it–it’ll still be awesome, but you’ll lose a little something in texture.

Meanwhile, in a medium-sized saucepan, heat 1 tbsp cooking oil over high heat. Add in the wild rice, tossing, and cook for about 3 minutes. Add in the water, bring to boil, then reduce heat and cover, cooking until the water is gone and the rice is done.

Meanmeanwhile, saute the onion in oil in a large pot over medium heat. Once the onions are soft, add in the tofu, crumbling. Now add in the nu yeast and the turmeric. When the squash is done, peel the skin off and cut it into bite-sized pieces. Add it to the tofu. When the rice is done, add that too, Finally, add in the spices, salt, and pepper. Mix it up. Eat it up.

There are a lot of vegan french toast recipes out there. For some reason, though, none of them has every really done the trick.  They’re always okay, but either (a) just create a crispy layer on the outside without really transforming or flavoring the bread, or (b) soak all the way through the bread, making it soggy and very difficult to cook all the way through. A lot of this has to do with how thick your batter is. Too thick and you get (a); too thin and you get (b). For this incarnation, I tried a yogurt and soymilk base with a tinch of cornstarch and nu yeast.

The consistency was pretty good. I think if we’d had the right bread–thick, light bread, not dense Rudi’s multigrain–this would have been just right. The yogurt adds a little tartness that, for standard french toast (served with syrup), probably isn’t desirable. It would be just the thing, however, with a nice compote or jam.

French Toast (Yogurt Version)

• 4 pieces of thick, light bread
• 1/2 cup unsweetened milk-like beverage
• 1/4 cup plain, unsweetened yogurt
• 1 tsp nutritional yeast
• 1 tsp corn starch

Fire up a large frying pan or griddle at medium (or just under) heat. Toss in a dollop of Earth Balance ™. Whisk all of the non-bread ingredients together in a bowl large enough to accommodate a piece of bread. When the butter has melted, briefly dunk a piece of bread in, coating both sides but not getting soggy, and toss it in the pan/griddle. Repeat for as many pieces of bread as your pan/griddle will hold. Cook until the bottom side of the bread is brown, then flip, cooking until the other side is brown. Remove from heat and serve hot.

Simple, eh?

When I was a kid, I always thought breakfast for dinner was a top thing. Of course, breakfast in those days was 3 bowls of Fruity Pebbles ™–essentially a bowl of candy with milk on it–so you can imagine why my nine-year-old brain would have delighted at this. That being said, I think it’s more than nostalgia that draws us to the occasional dinner-time switch-em-up; there’s something taboo about eating a meal at the wrong time. Or maybe it’s just that breakfast is awesome, but we don’t take the time to go all out very often–so we occasionally have to use our prodigious dinner energies on a breakfast.

This dinner-time inversion was our famous Southwest Scramble.

Let’s just start this with a picture:

Every year when fall blows in and we buy that first jug of cider, a desire for apple cider doughnuts begins worming its insidious way through our brains. This is fueled largely by nostalgia for visits to the apple orchard as kids. Knowing this does not help quell the desire. What does help is making freaking apple cider doughnuts!

And since we rarely bake sweets, I thought it was only right to finish off Vegan MoFo by making something I wouldn’t normally make, challenging myself a little.

As you’ve quite possibly learned by now, we’re not into frying so Amy hunted down this baked apple cider doughnut recipe. I took great pains to veganize it by, well, leaving out the egg. That simple. They were still light and fluffy, so I’m not really sure what the egg was supposed to do in the first place. Maybe in the olden days people had more eggs than they knew what to do with? Like me and zucchini.

It’s been a long time since I had a proper apple cider doughnut, and these weren’t fried, so I can’t compare very well. Amy thought they were delicious, but not a perfect replica of the platonic form of ‘apple cider doughnut’.

I should mention in advance, that you’ll need a doughnut pan for thus. You can get them pretty cheap in the intarwebs–be sure to get a nonstick one.

In any case, here they be:

Baked Apple Cider Doughnuts

• 2 cups all-purpose flour
• 1½ tsp baking powder
• 1½ tsp baking soda
• ½ tsp salt
• 2 tsp ground cinnamon
• ½ tsp ground nutmeg
• 2/3 cup packed brown sugar
• ½ cup apple sauce
• 1/3 cup pure maple syrup
• 1/3 cup apple cider
• 1/3 cup plain yogurt
• 3 tbsp vegetable oil

Preheat your oven to 375 degrees Fahrenheit. Combine all of the dry ingredients, except the brown sugar, in a large mixing bowl. Combine all of the wet ingredients plus the brown sugar in another, mixing thoroughly. Pour the wet mix into the dry and mix until just moistened.  Lightly oil or spray the doughnut pan and pour enough batter in each pocket to fill about half way. I filled them my first time using the pan and the doughnuts were all huge and lopsided. Caution, dear readers, caution. Bake for 15 minutes, or until they spring to the touch. Let them cool for a few minutes, then remove them from the pan using a knife to pop them out. In a small bowl, mix about 2 tsp cinnamon to 1/4 cup sugar (until it tastes sweet and not too sharp). Spray/brush the doughnuts with oil lightly and dunk the doughnut in the dry mix, coating thoroughly. BooYa!

Eat with hot cider. Or else:

Happy Halloween!

Happy Final MoFo!

Neither Amy nor I are really breakfast people. It’s too much food too early and too much work. Now don’t get me wrong–we love a good brunch, when you have the time, the empty belly, and folks to share with.

But on an average day, we’ve come to rely heavily on our trusty breakfast shakes–they’re a lot cheaper than organic cereal (well, I guess $5/box isn’t terrible, considering the number of meals you get…but it still bugs me), fresh, and fast. We generally make them with bananas, milk-like-beverage, and various fruits/seeds/nut-butters. Here are a few of our favorites:

Peanut Butter & Cocoa

Peanut Butter & Cocoa Shake

• 1.5 bananas
• 1 cup milk-like-beverage
• 1 tbsp flax oil
• 2 tbsp all natural peanut butter
• 2 tsp baking cocoa
• 1 tbsp agave nectar
• ~ 4 large ice cubes (or you can use frozen bananas)

The directions for all of our shakes are: blend blend blend! That being said, this shake is kind of ridiculous. It’s like waking up and having a bowl of delicious ice cream. My tongue keeps saying, “This has to be bad for you!” My brain goes over and over the ingredients–no sugar except the agave, protein from the peanut butter, omegas 3 & 6 from the flax oil, potassium from the bananas. Nope, nary a trace of junkfood. It boggles the mind. And the tongue.

Straight-up Banana on the left, Almond-Cinnamon on the right

Straight-up Banana Shake

• 1.5 bananas
• 1 cup milk-like-beverage
• 1 tbsp flax oil
• 1 tbsp ground hemp seed
• 1 tbsp agave nectar
• ~ 4 large ice cubes (or you can use frozen bananas)

I’m not super big into this one, but Amy loves it. She thinks the Peanut Butter & Cocoa and Almond-Cinnamon are too much. Her body is probably just inherently smarter about not wanting to eat junkfood for breakfast (even though those shakes are perfectly healthy).

Almond-Cinnamon Shake

• 1.5 bananas
• 1 cup milk-like-beverage
• 1 tbsp flax oil
• 2  tbsp almond butter
• 1 – 2 dates OR 1 tbsp agave nectar OR 1 tbsp maple syrup
• 1 tsp cinnamon
• ~ 4 large ice cubes (or you can use frozen bananas)

This one is pretty mellow, on account of the almond butter, but has a nice little snap of cinnamon. For some reason, this one lends itself better to other sweeteners too, if you’re getting sick of using agave.

Strawberry Shake

• 1 banana
• 1/2 cup milk-like-beverage
• 1/2 cup orange juice
• 4 frozen strawberries (or any berry of your choice)
• 1 tbsp flax oil
• 1 tbsp ground hemp seed
• 1 tbsp agave nectar

This is the ol’ standby, the one we drink almost daily. It almost never gets old, and is probably the best for us. It’s vitamin C in the OJ, protein in the hemp seed, omegas in the flax oil, and fiber in the strawberries. It’s like an Orange Julius for breakfast, but without all the mallrats.

Mint Shake with Matcha

Shamrock Shake with Spirulina

Shamrock (mint) Shake

• 1.5 bananas
• 1 cup milk-like-beverage
• 1 tbsp flax oil
• 1 tbsp ground hemp seed
• 1 tbsp agave nectar
• 1 tsp peppermint extract
• 1 tsp matcha green tea OR 1 tsp spirulina
• ~ 4 large ice cubes (or you can use frozen bananas)

We totally ripped this idea off of Fresh! in Toronto. They have an amazing array of healthy shakes, and this one was impossible to resist. Both matcha green tea (that’s what Fresh! uses) and spirulina are awesome for you–in different ways. Matcha green tea is really high in antioxidants and it gives you a little caffeine kick (about half that of a cup of coffee). Spirulina is also high in antioxidants as well as the often-difficult-to-obtain B12. Additionally, the spirulina will give you that old school McDo faux green color. Why I’m nostalgic for something like that, I couldn’t tell you.

We’ve also made these with fresh spearmint, which was good, but took an awful lot of spearmint–better saved for mojitos.

So there! You now have no excuse not to start your day out right!

Potato pancakes have always been something of a mystery to me. I think I always just assumed they were like regular pancakes, but made with some sort of potato flour…maybe a bit less sweet? For people with gluten allergies? It all stems back to my childhood. In my home town, there’s a restaurant called The Potato Shack (of little interest to a 10 year old boy in the 80s), which I would often confuse with Radio Shack (of great interest to a 10 year old boy in the 80s), and consequently found to be a big letdown. So, it stands to reason that potato pancakes would also be a big letdown.

Not so, not so.

They’re much less like pancakes than hashbrowns in delicious cake form.

And they’re pretty simple to make.

Potato Pancakes

• 5 medium-sized russet potatoes
• 1 large white onion, peeled
• non-sweet replacement for two eggs (Energ-G(tm), ground flaxseed, etc)
• 3/4 cup all-purpose flour
• salt and pepper, to taste

Grate the onion and potatoes into a large bowl. Mix them. Then, mix in the remaining ingredients. The consistency should be paste-like–you can add flour or water to control this in either direction.

Heat oil or Earth Balance in a frying pan over medium heat, and dollop in some “batter”. When the bottom is brown, flip. The pancake, not you. Well, I guess if you can flip, now would be an excellent time. Do a flip both before and after flipping the pancake. And then again before serving, if possible. The pancake is done when both sides are brown (golden brown will produce a softer pancake, darker brown, a more crispy pancake–I prefer the crispier/darker).

What makes or breaks potato pancakes, though, is what you serve them with.

We have served these with applesauce and cashew cream (traditionally, potato latkes are served with applesauce and/or sour cream). I thought they were stellar with the cashew cream.

This time around, we served them with the leftover filling from our momelette–sauteed onions, peppers, mushrooms, and tomatoes.

So what makes this a “momelette” instead of an “omelette”?

The letter ‘M’.

I give this 9 points for looking awesome, 8 points for tasting awesome, and 6 points for being kind of like a traditional egg momelette, or “omelette”, if you will.

We modified this recipe from VegWeb.

Tofu Momelette

• 1 lb extra firm tofu, drained and shredded into long strands
• 1 small – medium white onion, diced
• ~ 6 medium-size mushrooms (optional), diced
• 1 small – medium green bell pepper, diced
• 1 small tomato, seeded and diced
• 1 clove of garlic, pressed or grated
• 1/8 tsp turmeric
• 1 tbsp nu yeast
• salt and pepper, to taste
• Earth Balance(tm)

The interesting part of this recipe–the key to it, you might say–is using a cheese shredder to shred the tofu into long strands (use large-holed face/shredder). This makes it pretty malleable, but not so crumbly that it’s just a scramble. A smaller–but no less crucial–key is to cook the vegetables separately.

So.

In a large non-stick (or well-seasoned) pan, melt enough Earth Balance to lightly cover the bottom of the pan over medium heat. Don’t front like regular oil is gonna get you out of this one. This is much better with Earth Balance. Next, pack down enough shredded tofu to make a solid circle, as big around as you’d like your momelette to be (ideally, use half–then you get two momelettes). It shouldn’t be loose like hash browns. Cook on this side until the bottom starts to brown–this took at least 10 minutes on our stove.

Meanwhile, in a different pan, but also over medium heat, sautee the veggies (and mushrooms, if using) until they are soft. You may use oil here if you wish.

When the time is right, flip the momelette. Let it cook for about 5 minutes, then spread half of the veggies on one half of the momelette. Fold the non-veggie-fied half onto the veggie-fied half. Cook for a few minutes, just for good measure then flip and cook for a few more.

Serve with ketchup, catsup, or salsa.

Occasionally you have to scratch the unhealthy itch. Today, that itch was Egg McMuffins(tm). Well, my 10-year old conception of what an Egg McMuffin might be like. I guess, the itch was the word “McMuffin”. Because I wanted to use the word “MarkMuffin”.

Now, this is a fairly easy itch to scratch–if you don’t mind using store-bought processed fakin. However: Amy found an awesome recipe on VegWeb for tofu fakin, so today was the day to rock it.

The Fakin Part

• 1 lb extra firm tofu
• soy sauce/tamari/shoyu/braggs
• my new best friend (aka Liquid Smoke(tm))
• maple syrup (optional)
• nutrional yeast

Cut the tofu down to about an inch thick (or as thick as your peeler will allow). Shave it into thin slices with a vegetable peeler. This is the magic step. You cannot substitute or change this step in any way. Unless you want terrible fakin. In a large, flat container of some sort, pour enough soy sauce to cover the bottom. If the pan is about 6″ x 9″, you’ll want to then add about 1.5 tsp of Liquid Smoke, 1 tbsp of nu yeast, and 1 tsp of maple syrup (I think I prefer it without this, but some folks like a tinge of sweetness in their fakin). The amounts will all go up if you’re using a larger container, obviously.

Toss as many slices of fakin as will cover the bottom of the pan. Swish the marinade over the top. Let these sit for at least 10 minutes, then fry them in a small amount of oil over low medium heat. This will depend on your pan, but if you cook at too high a heat, you’ll get crisp edges but slightly soft fakin–and most people want this crisp. Cook until it’s crisp.

Rinse, wash, repeat. Lather.

You can do this with several containers or use a lot more liquid if you want to speed the process up.

The “Egg” Part

• 1 slice of tofu, about 1/4″ thick, and 2 – 3 inches square
• garlic powder
• onion powder
• nu yeast
• salt
• pepper

Fry up the tofu in a bit of oil in a pan over medium heat. Sprinkle on sundry powders/granules. When the tofu starts to brown on the bottom, flip and sprinkle the other side with powdery sundries. When the part that was the top but is now the bottom starts to brown, it’s done.

The Preparation

Toast an english muffin (ideally Rudy’s) and slather with Earth Balance. Pop on the “egg,” then the fakin, then the top muffin. Outstanding!

Due to recent advances in brunch frequency technology, this summer’s been a veritable brunchfest. For the triple-T brunch, we made a Southwest Scrapple. Yes. Scrapple. Not “scramble”. I decided this was a scrapple because it features not only tofu, but tempeh as well. But also because it felt like a scrapple. I didn’t even really know what scrapple is.

Well, it turns out scrapple is like a breakfast meatloaf made of congealed pig scraps and various flours. Sounds like just the kind of thing worth emulating. I’d sooner eat my words than crapple, so “scramble” it is.

Southwest Scramble

• 1 onion, peeled and diced
• 1 green bell pepper, seeded and diced
• 1 small can of diced mild green chilis
• 1 cup cooked or 1/2 can pinto beans, drained and rinsed
• 1 lb tofu, drained
• 1 package tempeh, cut irregularly
• 1 tsp turmeric
• 1 tbsp chili powder
• 1/2 tsp paprika
• 1/2 tsp ground cumin
• 1/2 tsp oregano
• 4 tbsp nu yeast
• salt and pepper to taste

Like most scrambles and probably most crapples, this is pretty simple. In a large-ish pot, sautee the onion, green bell pepper, and chilis in oil, over medium heat. When the onions and bell pepper begin to soften, add in the tempeh and cook for 5 – 10 minutes, until the tempeh starts to brown a little bit. Crumble in the tofu, mashing up the remaining large bits with a spatula. Do it with gusto. But without alacrity. Once everything is mixed well, add the spices and nu yeast, in order. Finish off with some fresh ground salt and pepper.

Garnish with sliced avocado and salsa.

It will look like this in a pot, if you make this correctly and your pot looks exactly like ours:

As a follow-up to the Shadow Art Fair, we hosted a vegan brunch this morning along with our excellent friends Ryan and Val.

Hatched as a drunken idea a week ago, I was really hoping that someone else was going to make me breakfast this morning instead. But alas! I didn’t have to do any work on the Shadow Art Fair, so all things considered, making some food for people is the least we could do. And Ryan got up at 5am to make VEGAN DOUGHNUTS!

Here’s the menu:

• Tofu Scramble
• Biscuits and Gravy
• Vegan Savory Swirls (aka Ryan’s Rolls)
• Vegan Doughnuts
• Gluten Free Buckwheat Pancakes
• Fresh blueberries, cherries, and pineapple
• Spicy fried potatoes
• Fauxstess Cupcakes
  

And to drink:

• Agave-sweetened iced sun tea
• OJ (with and without pulp–with pulp won by a landslide)
• Coffee with soy creamer
• Fizzy water

All in all, this wasn’t that difficult or expensive (except for the doughnuts, maybe…which take a lot of work). We bought the tofu and tempeh in bulk–so the scramble probably cost about $10, tops, and the gravy for the biscuits was probably $15, tops.  And this, along with the other stuff fed about 25 people.

Everyone seemed pretty willing to bring stuff too, so this could easily have been a potluck. It’s worth noting that only about half the people were vegan and everyone seemed happy and well-fed. So there. You no longer have any excuse not to have a vegan brunch. Delicious!

A slew of pictures: