Entries Tagged 'Miscellaneous' ↓

On my last night in Reykjavik, we were treated to a real feast, courtesy of Julie (Juliana España Keller) and Nina (Rizzo).

I was talking to someone recently about a fancy restaurant in Chicago, and how he was so blown away by the meal that he felt like he actually learned something from it, that the meal was a true work of art–it didn’t merely look and/or taste good/interesting, but it actually changed the way we looked things in some way; he came away from the meal a lightly different eater. So it’s not surprising that a couple of artists would produce just such a meal.

From the pictures above, you can certainly get a sense of how attractive this meal was, but there were a lot of details that were difficult to capture: there was a unified theme (i.e. Iceland/volcanoes/magma)–I never think to do this type of thing; both the quinoa and tofu were delicious unto themselves–they weren’t merely ingredients (the apricots, sunflower seeds, and parsley were a really nice touch both visually and gustatorily); while you could eat it however you wanted (as pictured), there was an interplay between the roasted, slightly spicy flavor of the eggplant and how it was to be served–over the quinoa volcano–a clever blend of concept, presentation, and flavor.

Over the course of these last several meals, our new friends have spoiled us indeed.

So here you have it directly from Julie (who teaches cooking at the Institute NHC, by the way, and runs CooK GlobaL, EaT LocaL out of her kitchen [so this kind of cooking is old hat to her]).

Ingredients for eight Icelandic tourists

For the quinoa:

• 1 package of quinoa
• 200g of dried apricots [chopped into hot lava pieces]
• 1 cup of fresh sunflower seeds [dry toasted in a frying pan]
• chopped fresh parsley
• olive oil
• salt
• cracked pepper
• 2 teaspoons of powdered vegetable bouillon [no MSG variety]

Put a package of Quinoa seeds into a big pot and cover with water until the water reaches one inch above the grains. Add a teaspoon of salt, two teaspoons of dry vegetable bouillon [sans MSG] and a tablespoon of olive oil. Cut up the onion into quarter pieces and put them into the pot also [the onion chunks can be removed later]. Turn the heat up high and bring the water to a boil. When it has almost reached a boiling point, turn the heat down and simmer for about 10 mins. until the Quinoa looks translucent. When all the water has been absorbed by the Quinoa, add a little more water, if necessary if the Quinoa grains are half-cooked or a little hard and cover the top of the pot for about 10 mins.

Serve onto a big platter and form into a volcano shape on the plate.
Create a big crater with a big spoon and fill with the chopped apricot, toasted sunflower seeds and chopped parsley. Drizzle with olive oil and serve!

For the magma:

• 3 fresh eggplants, chopped into small bite-size lava rocks
• 1 chopped onion
• 2 chopped fresh garlic cloves
• 2 large zucchini [sliced and diced]
• 1 ‘Freyja’ beer
• 1 tablespoon of tomato paste
• salt and pepper
• 1 tablespoon of sweet paprika
• ¼ tsp. of cayenne pepper
• 2 teaspoons of cumin powder
• 2 sprigs of fresh thyme
• 4 tablespoons of olive oil
• 1 bay leaf

Peel and dice the eggplants, and zucchini. Put the chopped onion and garlic plus bay leaf and fresh thyme sprigs on the stove and sauté until soft, translucent and fragrant. Add the vegetables and mix together. Add the beer and tomato paste and 2 cups of water. Stir together and bring to a simmer. Cover and cook for at least 45 mins. Take the top off and turn the heat down when the vegetables are soft. Taste for salt and pepper and add the dry spices. Turn off the heat and let sit for about 10 mins.

And from Nina (by way of observation), who is also a vegetarian (interesting that all of 3 of the Americans at the residency were Midwestern veg*ns, eh?):

Spicy Garlic Tofu

• I package of tofu, drained, pressed, and cut into thin squares/rectangles
• several 2 – 4 cloves or garlic, minced
• olive oil
• cayenne pepper
• salt

Heat olive oil in a pan, over medium heat, then add garlic, cooking for a couple minutes. Toss in to tofu and cook one side is lightly browned, then flip and lightly brown the other side. Sprinkle on salt and pepper, to taste.

We served this with a big ol’ salad and the remaining apricots as well.

’twas one hell of a farewell dinner.

I miss those folks already!

Up next: our brief excursions into eating out vegan-style in Reykjavik (with all these awesome home-cooked meals, there was barely time, but fear not! In the interest of gathering informations for you, dear readers, we took one for the team and gorged ourselves, the result being a rundown of vegan restaurants/cafes).

Every so often we deviate from the straightforward recipe posts to delve into “lifestyles”- themed posts here on IV.  Lucky you- here’s another one!  Mark was out of town at a conference on Saturday, so our friends Ryan and Val consoled me by taking me all over Ypsi and Ann Arbor to see the sights.  Of course along the way, we got to stop into many local small businesses, where Val knows all of the owners.  We chatted them up and left each location with some pretty great stuff and there was no buyers’ remorse because we supported local folks.  I ended up getting some items for the house that I knew Mark and I could enjoy together.

Our outing reminded me of shopping in Europe, where there are traditionally many specialty shops instead of big-box stores.  Because each store specializes in specific thematic items, they really know their stuff in terms of the origin and life of the products they sell.  Here’s a record of our adventures.

Stop 1)  Beezy’s in Ypsi for amazing vegan tofu rellenos.  We’ve written about the wonder that is Beezy’s before, remember?

Stop 2)  TeaHaus in Ann Arbor for delicious tea.  They have an ENTIRE WALL of tea to choose from.

Stop 3) The Ann Arbor farmer’s market.  I got some pussy willows for the house from a local apple orchard.  Behold:

Stop 4) And that sharp wine rack?  That’s from Everyday Wines, as are two of those bottles of wine.  The proprietor helped me select “natural” wines that haven’t been through any sort of filtration process, and thus have not been exposed to any fining agents, which means they’re vegan!  Hooray!

Stop 5) The Spice Merchants!  This place is fantastic!  I have wanted a salt cellar (aka salt pig) for a long time now.  This walnut salt cellar is nice and large, and is handcrafted by a family in Kenya contracted by the Spice Merchants to make hand-crafted wooden kitchen items.  Ryan and Val and I also picked out a bunch of specialty salts (which we got to taste test!).

Stop 6) We happened to stumble upon the Treasure Mart‘s 50th anniversary bash, with music, food, and general merrymaking.  The Treasure Mart is three floors of…well…treasures!  In keeping with our love of used vintage and antique items, much of our home is outfitted with finds from thrift stores, estate and yard sales, craigslist, and a fair share of items from Treasure Mart.  On this day, my treasures happened to be some super comfy floor pillows.

Stop 7) …and those beautiful flowering quince branches?  Those came from my new favorite store Pot & Box.  Lisa has wonderful taste and welcomes people into her bright, airy space with Roos Roast local coffee a’brewin.  She happily put up with our special requests for these p.p. pots, where she put moss and succulents together into these perfect tiny planters.  Those little succulent candles are from her shop too.

…as are the ranunculus on our dining room table.  Flowers are produce too, after all, and it’s great to buy them from a local establishment.

The entire day was such a treat, but the best part is that we talked Mark into coming home early from his conference to play with us into the evening, where we ate a great dinner, saw some art and hung out with good friends at their loft in Detroit.  A perfect long day of supporting our local friends with businesses while having a blast in the process!

90% of the time we’re adapting an omni dish to a vegan one, I cannot be trusted. Remember this.

Before going vegan I was World’s Pickiest Eater aka Mr. Blandypants. Seriously. My pre-vegetarian self, at the ripe adult age of 20, subsisted largely on children’s cereal, cheese pizza, Wal-Mart hamburgers, fried eggs, and generic Hamburger Helper. It pains me deeply to reflect on this. It astounds me deeply what the college stomach will accept as food.

When I went vegetarian before my senior year of college, I swapped out Morning Star Farms Grillers ™ for the burgers and veggie crumbles for the grade F meat I was using in the Hamburger Helper. Business as usual.

Around the time I went vegan a year and a half later, my excellent friends Nick and Kathy took me to eat at an Indian restaurant, miles–nay, leagues–outside of my gustatory comfort zone. I ate my Chana Masala in a sort of confused delight; with each bite I struggled to determine whether what I was eating was good.

Indian food turned out to be a gateway drug to all sorts of international delights–and I don’t mean those creamers you put in your coffee (Jean Luc!): Mexican, Thai, Chinese, Vietnamese, Ethiopian, Korean, Japanese…even untold varieties of American cuisine. Over the years, with Herculean efforts on Amy’s part, I have been transformed from the monstrous Mr. Blandypants into the infinitely more agreeable Dr. Savorypants.

With all of this in mind, you have probably reached this conclusion: The vast majority of foods I’ve eaten (in terms of variety) have been vegan. I’ve never had gumbo, an Egg McMuffin ™, Chicken Al Fredo, or quiche. As such, we can generally offer you a stamp of “tastes good” but not always “tastes like“. Please excuse kind sirs, madams, and others.

Your Friend,

Dr. Savorypants, Esquire

Mark agreed to do the dreaded task of mulling through the taxes today, so I wanted to take good care of him and feed him well all day.  For some reason, I feel like having breakfast cooked for you is one of the most comforting acts someone can perform, so I declared it breakfast day and decided to make a couple of different breakfasts throughout the day.  I decided to indulge and make some pancakes for actual morning-time breakfast.  I adapted this recipe from Vegweb.

Buttermilk Pancakes (emphasis on butter)

On Vegweb, this recipe called for Egg Replacer and oil in the pancakes.  I like a buttery taste, and use Egg Replacer as seldom as possible, so I substituted apple sauce for the egg and melted Earth Balance ™ for the oil.  To make the pancakes fluffier, I used a little apple cider vinegar to curdle the soymilk and make buttermilk.

• 1 cup white all purpose flour
• 2 tsp baking powder
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 3 tbsp sugar
• 1 tsp vanilla
• 1 tbsp apple sauce (we use apple cinnamon flavor)
• 1 cup soymilk
• 1/4 tsp apple cider vinegar
• 2 tablespoons melted Earth Balance ™ plus more for cooking

Mix wet ingredients in a medium sized bowl.  Mix dry ingredients in a larger bowl. Pour wet ingredients into dry – mix well until smooth consistency.

Dollop some batter onto medium heat (preheated) pan with a pat of Earth Balance ™ melted into it. Flip over when each pancake begins to bubble on top and goes from shiny to matte.

Serve with toping of your choice- ours is more Earth Balance ™ and piping hot real maple syrup.

Yum-er-oo!

Rainbow Chard Tofu Quiche

The other day we were at our local coop and saw a beautiful bunch of rainbow chard, which we had never really worked with before.  A recipe from the latest (March/April 2010) issue of VegNews involving chard came to mind and we snapped it up.  Having declared today breakfast day, I decided a yummy quiche should be our dinner and busted out the VegNews.  Now you recall the great quiche-off of 2009.  I was never hot on either of those quiches.  I think it’s because we tried to get all cheesey with them, when this quiche is perfect without any kind of cheese substitute.  This one is also so much “eggier” somehow- fluffier, not pastey like the other two.  At any rate, here it is, re-written by us here for you, and adapted a tiny bit based on the ingredients we had on hand.

First make the Basic Flakey Pie Crust:

(the recipe calls for shortening, but I didn’t have any, so used our friend Earth Balance ™ instead and upped the amount to increase the fat content)

• 1 1/2 cups all purpose flour
• 1 tsp salt
• 3/4 cup cold Earth Balance ™ (the recipe calls for 1/2 cup of vegetable shortening)
• 1/4 to 1/3 cup of very cold water

In a large bowl, mix together flour and salt.  Slowly cut Earth Balance ™ into flour mixture, until you are left with pea-sized balls of flour-butter mixture.  Drizzle a tiny amount of the water over the mixture and gently work it in, first stirring, then moving into kneading when it seems solid enough.  Repeat with water until a firm, slightly sticky ball of dough has formed.  Wrap dough in a large sheet of wax paper and refrigerate for an hour.

Spred out wax paper on your countertop (I used a rolling mat so the paper wouldn’t slip).  Lightly flour your rolling pin and gently roll out dough, working from the center outward until dough is 1/4 inch thick.

Picking up the wax paper, carefully flip the dough over and lay evenly onto a pie plate. Tear off pieces of excess dough and patch any holes uneven areas around the edges. Fill with quiche filling and bake according to directions below.

Rainbow Chard Tofu Quiche (filling and baking directions)

• 1 lb. firm tofu, drained
• 1/3 cup unsweetened soymilk
• 1 tbsp safflower oil (the recipe calls for olive oil)
• 5 cloves garlic, minced (the recipe calls for 2)
• 1 medium yellow onion, peeled and diced
• 1 tsp salt (the recipe calls for 1/2 tsp)
• 1 tsp oregano
• 1/2 tsp turmeric
• a few cranks of pepper from a pepper mill (the recipe calls for 1/8 tsp)
• 1 medium-sized bunch of rainbow chard (the recipe calls for a large bunch of red chard) leaves thinly sliced and stems finely diced
• 1 Basic Flakey Pie Crust

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  In a food processor blend the tofu and soymilk until smooth and set aside.

In a saute pan, heat safflower oil over medium-high heat.  Add garlic, onion and salt and cook for several minutes until onions are translucent.  Add oregano, turmeric, pepper, and chard.  Cook until chard leaves are bright green and stems have softened.  Turn off heat and fold into tofu mixture.  The recipe doesn’t specify, but I would taste the mixture at this point and add salt and/or pepper to taste.

Pour mixture into prepared uncooked pie crust, spreading smoothly and evenly.  Bake for 25 minutes, remove from oven, drizzle top with a touch of oil, rotate and place back into oven for 20 more minutes for a total 45 minutes of cooking time (or until crust is golden brown).  Let cool and eat up!

This is our new go-to quiche recipe!

We served the quiche with a little fruit salad of apples and clementines and mimosas to celebrate the completion of taxes (with a nice little return) for yet another year!

As a side note, even though we still have a bit of winter left here in Michigan, our seedlings for our garden are growing up up up!  We spent the after-dinner hours transplanting the lettuce, kale and tomatoes into larger pots so they can grow big and strong.  Behold:

Speaking of vegan pizzas…we ate out with some friends the other night at the Jolly Pumpkin Cafe & Brewery. Word had it that a person could get a pizza with soy cheese. While the word was correct, the word failed to mention that this was the bogus variety of soy cheese that’s made with…well…cheese. Can someone tell me why this product even exists?

Conventional wisdom would suggest that non-vegan soy cheese must be for either (a) people who want a marginally healthier cheese, or (b) folks who are lactose intolerant (non-vegan soy cheese typically has casein and sometimes even rennet, but not lactose). Unconventional wisdom, however, would suggest that non-vegan soy cheese exists to trick vegans. How many fledgling vegans have picked this up thinking–as any rational person would–that soy cheese  = vegan cheese? Or more likely, how many kindly friends and family members have picked this up for their vegans (this, I would argue, is probably the lion’s share of the non-vegan soy cheese market)? How many of us have been enticed and/or fooled by pizza with this crap? Now compare those numbers to the number of people how knowingly bought it.

At the very least, it seems reasonable to ask these companies to rename their soy cheese to something like 2% cheese or mostly not cheese (but just a little) or The Ultimate ‘Fuck You’ to Vegans ™. Why not just make it vegan and greatly increase the number of people who can consume it? Vegan cheese keeps getting better–Daiya melts just as well as the non-vegan varieties of faux cheese, tastes just as good–if not better, certainly won’t aggravate anyone’s lactose intolerance, and is probably healthier (at minimum it contains less cholesterol). The answer is probably that it would be either (a) more difficult, (b) more work, or (c) both.

I suppose it’s unreasonable to expect a company that presumably is enjoying some small profit to quit what they’re doing. The cost of changing their recipe may not be commensurate with what they’d get back. But I’d at least like to entreat restaurants who use this stuff to switch to a vegan variety. The minimal addition in cost greatly increases the number of people who can eat it. Additionally, it’s more honest. If we hadn’t made a point of asking, I’m sure the Jolly Pumpkin would have served us their not-quite-vegan pizza. What really burns me is that they’re clearly thinking of folks’ dietary needs; they even have gluten free crust! Why leave out the vegans?

This is what I e-mailed them:

Hello! My wife and I stopped in to the Ann Arbor restaurant last week–first off, let me say that the beer was excellent. The restaurant looks great too. We did have two small concerns, however. You offer a pizza with soy cheese–but this cheese isn’t vegan. This (a) excludes us vegans (and there are quite a few of us around here) and (b) is potentially misleading. If we hadn’t asked specifically (and a major thanks goes to our server for knowing the answer to this question), we may have eaten the pizza, assuming it was vegan. The great thing about vegan cheese is that it caters to the lactose intolerant, health conscious, and vegan alike. The other (very small) issue was that the soy cheese wasn’t on the menu; we learned about it from friends. Why not highlight this? I’d imagine beer and vegan pizza would be very popular with local vegans.

Daiya (http://www.daiyafoods.com/) currently seems to be the most popular brand of faux cheese (it’s soy-free too). Folks would probably be relatively happy with Follow Your Heart (http://www.followyourheart.com/products.php?id=25) as well, which has the advantage of being available in smaller retail quantities.

Thanks so much for your attention to this issue! Keep up the fine beers!

Thus ends my rant.

I suspect that many of you out there are just as voyeuristic as I am when it comes to seeing other people’s spaces.  Even though I can afford none of the glory inside, I love picking up a Dwell magazine just for the photos.  Apartment therapy?  Please and thank you.  And don’t even get me started on The Selby.  So, I thought we should give you a little glimpse into IV headquarters (i.e. our kitchen) while it’s bright and clean(ish).  Also, Mark is cleaning up a mess on my art website right now instead of posting about amazing quesadillas (coming soon!) so I thought I would hop into the blogger’s seat, and since I love all of the aforementioned  peeks into others’ lives, that’s what you get–only this time from ours.

What’s that you say?  No no, contrary to appearances here, our kitchen is not located on the surface of the sun, though our dining room does get pretty toasty during the day, much to the cats’ delight.

The crazy angle of this photo is attributed less to the height-enhancing power from all of the kale in our diet, more to my perch sitting on the counter as I took the photo.  Note the waist-height oven–a first for us, having been used to the more customary oven/stove units prevalent in all of our former abodes.  This makes appliance shopping that much more interesting and complicated as we found out yesterday when looking at all of the choices of ranges: induction electric, electric/induction combos, glass vs. electric coils, gas vs. electric…

So, that’s our kitchen.  She’s quite a champ and has become our favorite room in the house, as occurs with many foodies, I’m sure.  Thanks for taking the tour with me!

Dudes, dudettes, trans/inter/cross-dudered:

This month’s VegNews features Amy’s article “Blissful Budapest” about rockin’ the vegan lifestyle while on an artist’s residency in Budapest, Hungary!

Somehow, while making art, Amy also manages to be a world-famous travel-writer. See? I told you she was superlative!

You’ll probably recognize her excellent photography skills–she not only wrote the article, but also took all the photos (except the one of her on the title page, of course, which was taken by her friend Nannette).

Jennifer from Scrumpdilly passed this my way. I almost never do these things–but the straight-up cooking theme made this a little more compelling.

Brought to you by Lauren of Whoa Wren!
1. Favorite non-dairy milk?
Currently, almond–but only Almond Breeze ™ plain, unsweetened

2. What are the top 3 dishes/recipes you are planning to cook?

1. Our neighbor just gave us an omni recipe for a sort of Zuppa Toscana, that we intend to veganize.
2. Seitan is my Motor recently pointed out this recipe for Iraqi-inspired Seitan Stew from FatFree Vegan Kitchen.
3. I think we’re gonna make a pot pie with BISCUIT CRUST tonight.
   

3. Topping of choice for popcorn?
Earth Balance and salt–after air-popping

4. Most disastrous recipe/meal failure?
We tend to escape disastrous, but sometimes things end up weird–so weird that you’re uncertain as to whether they’re really good or just plain terrible. Anything in the failures section.

5. Favorite pickled item?
My friend Ryan has a shirt that says “Cucumbers are pickles soaked in evil.” –that’s how I feel about pickling.

6. How do you organize your recipes?
In a binder for in-process/experiments/recipes from online. Otherwise, here, on this blog.

7. Compost, trash, or garbage disposal?
Well, we use all three, but compost is always preferable.

8. If you were stranded on an island and could only bring 3 foods…what would they be (don’t worry about how you’ll cook them)?
Avocado, seitan, peanut butter? Can I choose something prepared? Panang Curry from Thai Thai, Taco Salad from Aut Bar, Runaway Potato from Alice & Friends.

9. Fondest food memory from your childhood?
When I was 9 or 10, my friend Shawn and I went to the grocery store and bought a bag of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups and a gallon of vanilla ice cream. We brought this back to his place and proceed to make our own blizzards. I’m not sure if it’s cool to let 10-year-olds use a blender unsupervised, but I definitely thought it was awesome then. For like $6 we made over a gallon of blizzard, HEAVY on the Peanut Butter Cups. This was probably my first DIY cooking moment. Our blizzard was infinitely superior and much cheaper than the real thing.

10. Favorite vegan ice cream?
Temptations Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough

11. Most loved kitchen appliance?
How are we defining appliance? I think good knives are probably the single most important thing, along with at least 1 non-stick or well-seasoned pan. We use our crappy blender almost every day. Our coffee maker is probably winning, though I have no special attachment to it. In terms of non-standard gadgets that we find ourselves surprised to love, it’s the immersion-blender, hands down.

12. Spice/herb you would die without?
Aside from the obvious salt and pepper, cumin.

13. Cookbook you have owned for the longest time?
How it All Vegan was my first cookbook. I bought it the weekend I went vegan, almost 10 years ago.

14. Favorite flavor of jam/jelly?
Raspberry

15. Favorite vegan recipe to serve to an omni friend?
My blackbean soup seems to go down really well with omnis–I generally try to shy away from “reproduction fare”, since it only highlights your “different” diet.

16. Seitan, tofu, or tempeh?
Seitan, tempeh, then tofu.

17. Favorite meal to cook (or time of day to cook)?
Supper. Evening/night. (I’ve also developed a soft spot for brunch after a summer of brunching.)

18. What is sitting on top of your refrigerator?
A powder-blue watering can, a medium size turquoise pot, and a large yellow pan.

19. Name 3 items in your freezer without looking.
Homemade ice cream, green beans from our garden, 3 dead birds.

20. What’s on your grocery list?
Potatoes, Bananas, Soy Creamer. I just went to the farmer’s market two days ago, so we’re mostly good.

21. Favorite grocery store?
Generally, our local food coop. Occasionally Whole Foods for the few items we can’t seem to get at the coop.

22. Name a recipe you’d love to veganize, but haven’t yet.
No, you name one. I take requests.

23. Food blog you read the most (besides Isa’s because I know you check it everyday). Or maybe the top 3?
Vegan Dad, VeganYumYum, Scrumpdilly

24. Favorite vegan candy/chocolate?
Peanut Butter Cups from How it All Vegan

25. Most extravagant food item purchased lately?
It’s been pretty back-to-basics lately. We did buy a slew of fancy flours and starches recently to make gluten free pancakes for a vegan brunch.

26. Ingredients you are scared to work with?
Nothing comes to mind. I don’t like vinegar very much, but that’s more antipathy than fear.

It was the best of quiches, it was the…well, I guess, okay, of quiches?

Here’s the gimmick: one quiche is almost entirely from scratch, the other is almost entirely from pre-packaged ingredients. In the battle of the century, which will win?! Sundaysundaysunday! Be there!

(Genius battle plan devised by Amy)

Obviously, we were pulling for from-scratch, as we try to keep our consumption of packaged/processed foods to a minimum.

Pre-packaged ingredients on the left; fresh, local, organic ingredients on the right

We unveiled these bastages at yet another brunch (this summer’s been lousy with the things)–to mostly omnivores, served alongside a “real” quiche. About half of each was eaten, which isn’t half bad given the competition, but isn’t as good as being inhaled within minutes.

The consensus, ultimately, was that the more homemade-y variety was superior, though the soysage in the faux-ass quiche was much better then the tempeh crumbles that I invented (poorly) for this recipe. Additionally, even though I took precautions against it (by using 1 block of non-silken tofu), neither quiche ended up as springy as a “real” quiche. Amy likes to think of these as “breakfast pies”. To me, that sounds a lot like “breakfast failures”.

So color this a “work-in-progress“. Consider some improvements below!

L’ Quiche au Naturale

Filling

• 1 lb extra firm tofu
• 1 pkg extra firm silken tofu*
• 1.5 – 2 cups chopped kale or spinach**
• 1/2 large white onion, diced
• 1/3 large green bell pepper, diced
• 1 tbsp tahini
• 1 tbsp white miso
• 1/4 cup nu yeast
• 1 tsp onion powder
• 1 tsp salt
• 1/2 tsp garlic powder
• 1/4 cup faux milk beverage (preferably, unsweetened)
• 1.5 tsp arrow root powder
• tempeh sausage crumbles
• faux-made cheez

Tempeh Sausage Crumbles

• 1 pkg or a 5″ x 3″ x 1/2″ block tempeh***
• 1/2 tsp onion powder
• 1/2 tsp paprika
• 1 tsp oregano
• 1.5 tbsp soy sauce/tamari/shoyu
• 1 tbsp liquid smoke(tm)
• salt and pepper (lots of pepper), to taste

Faux-Made Cheez (nabbed [and modified slightly] from Scrumpdilly)

• 2 cups water
• 1/4 cup raw cashews
• 1 cup nutritional yeast flakes
• 2 Tbsp. cornstarch
• 1 Tbsp. fresh lemon juice
• 1 1/2 tsp. salt
• 1/2 tsp. onion powder
• 1/4 tsp. garlic powder
• 1/2 tsp. cumin

Crust (I know, this shit is getting ridiculous. That’s what being awesome means.)

• 2.5 cups of all-purpose flour
• 1 tsp salt
• 1/2 tsp sugar
• 1/2 cup ice-cold water

* As far as I know, this only comes in packages. Fuck. Being good is so hard.
** Whatever is available locally. Kale seems easier to find in our neck of the woods.
*** Our local coop sells locally made tempeh in bulk. This is in Ypsilanti, MI. You can find this. If you can’t, use homemade seitan.

Directions

Crust

Sift 2.5 cups of unbleached all-purpose flour into a large mixing bowl. Cut in (with two battling butter knives) 1/2 cup butter or shortening (Earth Balance makes both). You want the mixture to form large crumbs. You may need up to an additional 1/2 cup of butter or shortening–but take it easy. You want crumbs, not giant shortening boogers. Once you’ve got this crumb-ified, add in 1/4 cup of ice water, a little at a time until all the crumbs are sticking together. You want this just wet enough. Knead the dough into a big ball then separate into two smaller balls. Put this in an airtight-ish reusable plastic bag or plastic wrap. Refrigerate at least four hours. Then roll and rock, in that order. Easy!

Tempeh Sausage Crumbles

Chop tempeh into crumbles. I’ve documented this ad nauseum in the biscuits and gravy post.  In a large pan, brown the tempeh over medium heat in soy sauce/tamari/shoyu and liquid smoke, tossing in remaining ingredients once the tempeh is coated. Cook until nice and brown. Fantastic. You are a champion.

Cheez

Follow Jennifer’s recipe, sans pimiento and jalapeno.

Filling

In a medium-sized pan, over medium heat, sautee the onion, garlic, and green pepper until soft. Combine the water and arrow root powder. In a food processor, or Vitamix(tm) if you won the lottery, blend all of the filling ingredients except the kale and sautee-fixins, along with the arrow-root-water. In a large bowl, combine the sautee-fixins, the kale, the tempeh sausage crumbles, and the filling. You may want to save a few tempeh crumblins to sprinkle on top of the quiche.

Finally

Pour the filling into the crust. Drizzle faux-made cheez (and crumblins if you saved any) on top of the filling. Bake for about 45 minutes at 375 degrees. Tada!

L’ Quiche au Faux

• 1 lb extra firm tofu (packaged and sealed [oooh! Go with Whitewave(tm), they're total bastards!])
• 1 pkg extra firm silken tofu(Mori-nu(tm))
• 1.5 – 2 cups chopped store-bought, bagged or boxed spinach (go with the box, that’s really offensive–fuck you nature!)
• 1/2 large white onion, diced (I think some places you can buy this pre-packaged)
• 1/3 large green bell pepper, diced (you’re gonna have to do this yourself…maybe you can put some cans in the garbage to offset the positive effect?)
• 2 tsp salt (is it still possible to get pre-Gandhi British tax-oppression salt? If so, use that.)
• 1/2 soysage log (Litelife(tm))
• 1/2 block of cheddar or nacho cheese (Follow Your Heart(tm))
• 1/2 block of mozzarella cheese (Follow Your Heart(tm))
• 1/4 cup faux milk beverage (preferably, Silk(tm), oh, where to start…)
• 1.5 tsp arrow root powder (sorry, arrow root powder is totally awesome!)

Directions:

In a medium-sized pan, over medium heat, sautee the onion, garlic, and green pepper until soft. In a different medium-sized pan, over medium heat, sautee the processed soysage. Use a spatula to mash it into largish bits.

Combine the water and arrow root powder. In a food processor, blend all of the filling ingredients except the spinach, soysage, and enough faux cheese to sprinkle on top, along with the arrow-root-water. In a large bowl, combine the soysage, spinach, and the filling. You may want to save some soysage crumblins to sprinkle on top of the quiche.

Pop the filling into your convenient store-bought crust, sprinkle on some processed soy cheese and soysage, and bake that badboy for about 45 minutes at 375 degrees Fahrenheit or 463.555 degrees Kelvin.

Au Naturale on the left, Au Faux on the right

Possible Improvements to Au Naturale

• Use seitan instead of tempeh; this will improve the taste and will work better as larger chunks
• Use VeganYumYum’s cheese from the Mac & Cheez instead of Scrumpdilly’s nacho sauce (which is great, but not really suited to this)
• add broccoli (duh! what was I thinking?)
• tone down the salt (I know, I know, hard to believe I could ever say such a thing)
• add in something “bready”–bread crumbs, bread makings, anything to make this a little lighter–more like a bake and less like a pie

With no end to brunches in sight, I’m sure I’ll come back to this at some point. In the meantime, I’d welcome any comments/suggestions/anti-quiche hatemail.

And for the record, the Nip is all about the natural:

There are countless tofu scramble recipes out there…and they’re all roughly the same. Sautee some tofu with turmeric and nu yeast. Add sundry spices. Vary by adding other vegetables.

For those in need of a recipes, allow me to muddy the scramble-y waters:

Tofu Scramble

Required!

• 1 lb tofu, drained
• 1 small – medium onion, diced
• 1/3 cup nu yeast
• 1 tbsp turmeric
• 3 sprigs fresh / 2 tsp dry rosemary
• 3 sprigs fresh / 2 tsp dry oregano
• salt and pepper, to taste
• 1 tsp chili powder
• cooking oil

Optional! (any or all of the following will enliven your scramble)

• 1 small bag / 1 – 2 cups chopped spinach
• 1/2 can black beans
• 1 handful chives / 2 stalks green onions, chopped
• 1/2 green bell pepper

In a large pan, sautee the onion (and green pepper, if using) in oil over medium. When the onions just begin to get soft, crumble in the tofu. Mix well, breaking up the large tofu bits with your spatula. Add in the spices. Cook for about 10 minutes, then add in the remaining optional ingredients, if it suits your fancy. Cook for about 5 more minutes, then reduce heat to low. Serve when the mood strikes you and/or the bagel/toast is done.