Anatomy of a Vegan Sandwich

In a sense, this should be a no-brainer. You know how to make a damned sandwich, right?

But do you know why you’ll never go hungry in the desert?

Because of all the sand which is (sandwiches) there. So think about that.

But I jest. Sometimes, it’s just nice to be reminded to make a sandwich, to remember how awesome a sandwich can be. While there are any number of variations, this is our “go-to sandwich”.

Sand, which is thereHere’s what you’ll need:

Butter each piece of bread. Alternately, if your tastebuds are broken and you like vegan mayo, use that. It’s probably the more appropriate condiment for this type of sandwich…if you believe what The Man‘s been telling you.

Now, thinly slice the tomato. Ideally, you will have an atom smasher for this. If not, a very sharp knife will do. A tomato is your worst enemy if you don’t have an atom smasher or very sharp knife. Put the tomato slices on the bread.

bread and maters

Next, you’ll want to slice the onion even thinner than the tomato. It doesn’t seem possible, I know, but have faith. You have to see a thinner onion in your mind’s eye. Put these on top of the tomatoes.

maters und zweibel

Now the lettuce on top of that.

now the lettuce

And finally your homemade meat-like substance and sprinkle Miracle Blend ™ or salt and pepper on the top piece of bread.

Say-tahn, Say-tahn

Pop the top piece of bread on and cut the sandwich in half diagonally. Do not skip this step! You’re enjoyment of this sandwich will be increased by magnitudes.

Finally, eat! You won’t regret it.

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